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Thursday, May 11, 2006 { 9:40 PM }

It's abnormally unusual for me to post something so sad, dark and pessimistic but I'm feeling shitty so please bear with me.


So current cirsumstances have forced me into my thinking corner. And these few questions seem to consistently manage to find their way through the my channel of thoughts.


Does the much talked about ideal relationship exist? I've seeked for advice and searched deep within for the past few days; and I'm starting to wonder if I already know the answer but just seem to blind myself out to it.


Of the responses I've received, they always seem to be telling me to "listen to my heart" or "you shouldn't commit at such a young age" or "you shouldn't have to succumb yourself to all this" or "you should enjoy your life, have fun and not be tied onto a pole" and the likes.


Advice, I always welcome and I'm ever grateful for your 5 to 10 mins (some, more) to listen to my recurring problems. But is it really possible to live in MY ideal relationship?


I'm going to die a spinster (totally contradicts my previous posts on getting married young). But even if I don't get married I'll go adopt kids so I won't be ALL that lonely.


I'm just emo-ing. I'm trying to get out of that phase.


I promise the next post will be much much happier. Barbeque with pictures too. For now, I'll just bury it with a smile.


I'm hoping your days to come will be much cheerier.