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Sunday, August 26, 2007 { 9:12 PM }

It's a sinking feeling I can't quite describe in words. Certain things in this world are inevitable, we know that, I know that. But certain things just shock you beyond comprehension and not in a good way too.

It's all about the money, Meja sings. It always has been and probably always will be. That's why I approach the recent article in the Borneo Bulletin about having a drug free ASEAN by 2015 with great skepticism.

So the point of this post is that I am angry and filled with guilt, love and great admiration even if it may not apparent in my writing. People born with silver spoons in their mouths will never understand what it's like to see parents, mine and others, work so hard, day and night, missing lunch hours and dinners, working extra hours and on Sundays, slaves to the currency, to provide their children, my sister and I included, with the lifestyle that they (we) have.

There's a pressure, and expectation, a burden if you may, on me to do well (and I do want to do well) to give my parents back the lifestyle that they have given me. There has never been a time that I wanted something material that my parents have failed to purchase with a swipe of their plastics. There has never been a year, before I left for university, that my family wouldn't go on end of year, out-of-town trips. There has never been a time that I've been rejected when wanting to top up my emptying purse.

I am grateful, I just hope they and everyone else sees it.

So, there!