Sunday, May 11, 2008
{ 2:42 PM }
I've finished my exams. Oh, joy! Somehow, less hype less excitement this year. Maybe because there's a sort of sadness behind it all, me leaving my friends who I've gotten to know and love, the end of my university years, assuming the search for a Masters is not lurking in the dark, and just starting a whole new chapter of my life.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to come out of my life, what kind of a person I want to be remembered as, what impact will I make. Things that a lot of people take for granted but are very important to me. I don't believe in taking life day by day, although that is sometimes how I feel when I am lost and uncertain of what next to do. I think we have to look at the bigger picture, aim for bigger, greater things. Don't settle for anything less than what you know you can do.
So what's next for me? I really don't know. Ask me if I have dreams, I can tell you plenty. Ask me how to make them real, I haven't figured that out yet.
I just don't want to be just another knob in the work wheel. I don't want to be 50 look back and see that I've not achieved anything. I want to see the world, both land and sea. I want a career, whatever it may be. I want to help people, see a change made in my lifetime. I want to make a difference, to have my foot prints imprinted on earth. I want to know that I did not just pass by.
I want to fall in love, to yearn and long for someone, to be willing to set everything aside and do anything for him. I want to remember what that was like. To love someone so hard that you get exhausted. To scream, yell and break down, only to realise that you love him that much. To talk about the future, what we want to do, to have direction and goals and to work hard for them.
I want my existence to be felt. I do not want to scratch surfaces, I want to implant my presence. I want to look back, exhausted and feel satisfied with what I've done.
Happy holidays!