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Tuesday, June 24, 2008 { 6:08 PM }

I've given up on sleeping. It's ten past two in the morning and I'm aggravated. I have to be up at half past four to meet my family at Heathrow. They're here for my convo, can you believe it? I'm graduating!

At this rate, I might as well stay awake till half four. I'm ecstatic they're coming! I haven't seen them in months. I'm annoyed that I can't fall asleep, knowing that I have to play tour guide when they arrive.

I was talking to a great friend (you can never have to many of those kinds) earlier and he was telling me how excited and hyped up he was about his life and his plans to save human kind, somewhere along that line. And I wondered where my motivation has gone.

I had those plans, the excitement that when I graduate I'd take a year or two off to travel and do lots of charity work, for children, for communities, for peace. And now, all I can think of is going back home, putting off job searching as much as possible, lazing and just enjoying life. Where is my motivation or have I just become too much of a realist to see that I am no superwoman.

My life is in Brunei. I grew up there, most of my friends are there, my closest family members, my home. So really, how do i venture outwards of my very comfortable zone again?

I think everything will fall into place once I reach home, and start from there.

I can't sleep! This is killing me...